BDSM vs Fetish vs Kink: What These Terms Actually Mean

Kink is the broadest of these three terms, covering any unconventional sexual interest or practice. BDSM is a specific subset of kink, standing for bondage and discipline, dominance and submission, and sadism and masochism. A fetish is a strong sexual attraction to a specific object, material or body part, such as leather, latex or feet. In short, all BDSM and all fetishes are kinks, but not all kinks are BDSM or fetishes.

These words are often used interchangeably, but they mean different things. Here is how they fit together.

Kink: the umbrella

Kink is the catch all term. It refers to any sexual interest or practice that falls outside the conventional mainstream. That covers an enormous range, from BDSM and fetishes to role play and beyond. Describing yourself as kinky simply signals an interest in something beyond the vanilla, without specifying what. Because it is so broad, it is the most inclusive and least specific of the three terms.

BDSM: a specific framework

BDSM is an acronym packing in several related practices. Bondage and discipline cover restraint and rules. Dominance and submission describe power exchange, where one person takes a leading role and another a yielding one. Sadism and masochism refer to giving and receiving sensation, sometimes including pain, consensually. BDSM is often about the dynamic between people, particularly power and trust, as much as any specific act. It has a deep culture of its own built firmly on consent, negotiation and safety.

Fetish: a specific focus

A fetish is a strong sexual attraction to a particular object, material, or body part. Common examples include latex, leather, rubber, uniforms or feet. For some people the fetish is an enhancement to their sexuality, and for others it is central to their arousal. Fetishes are about the specific thing that excites a person, rather than about a dynamic or a framework.

How they overlap

In practice these blend together constantly. A latex fetish might feature in a BDSM scene, which is itself a form of kink. The fetish scene and the BDSM scene share venues, events and a strong common culture of consent. The terms are useful for communication and self understanding, but in the real world people mix and match according to what they enjoy.

If you want to explore this side of the scene, see our guide on what to expect at your first fetish night, and browse our directory and events page.

Frequently asked questions